Will He(She) Cheat Again?

If you're old enough to recall advice to the lovelorn columnist Ann Landers, you may remember her advice to a wronged spouse: Before you take the person back, ask yourself if you're better off with or without them. For so many women of that era, it all boiled down to economics. In other words they put up with cheating in order to keep a roof over their heads and to give their children a better financial chance at life.

How about in today's world? Should you take that cheating partner back if he or she promises never to look at anyone else? Let's look at some statistics.

Google "cheating spouses" and you'll get a number of percentages of partners who cheat. According to some, that number is as much as 50%. Let's use the most conservative number of 20% often mentioned in these pop psychology articles.

Now let's say you have a pool of 500 men; that means 100 of those men will cheat on their wives. Supposing all are caught, plead for forgiveness, and are taken back by their wives, how many will cheat again?

In this remaining pool of 100, it's not going to be 20 who cheat a second time. It's going to be 60. That means if you take your husband back, there's a three out of five chance that he will cheat again. Is that what you want? Or would you be better off letting him stay with the woman he cheated with and making her life miserable while you find someone who loves you and your children enough to put you first in life?

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16 Sep 2019

By Firenze