Don't Forget to Bind Baptist Breasts
Well I wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate
Shake it like jelly on a plate
This weekend marks the annual step-sing at Samford University in Birmingham. For those who may not know, the college is governed by the Southern Baptist Church. A step-sing competition is considered an "athletic event."
Now some of the directors of the event say that the girl teams are a little too athletic. The female performers were told initially to wear two or three bras. (Coming from a female writer, just how do you do that? Wouldn't a sports bra better serve the purpose?)
After the first female group's performance, an urgent edict went out to secure/bind the mammaries with an elastic bandage for more control. Male performers were not told to secure any parts of their anatomy.
Now you know why it's better for Baptists not to dance in the first place...